I Like To Put Things Off Sometimes.

So remember that time I was going to write a blog post, A WEEK AGO! Yea, I'm not avoiding an apology or anything. Me? I would never. 

Focus Jess, Focus! I get derailed easily.

Now if you recall a few weeks-ish back I wrote a post about professionalism. No, you don't remember? Well you're in luck, you can read that here. Anywho, so I wrote that post and looking back I was pretty harsh on Lani. Both professionally & personally I think. You see loyal blog readers I try very hard not to paint people with one brush. Everyone has a personal life & a professional one. Take Chris Brown for instance. Personally he's a woman beating douchecanoe, but you cannot deny professionally he's good at what he does. The man (and I use that term loosely) makes good music. (see I'm still putting off that apology by making references. What is with me!)

 Two weekends ago now I went on a little road trip to Madison for the Spencer Bell Legacy Concert that my dear friends Bonnie, Rachel & Lisa put on. A show I would not miss for the world. Not even for the performances, but because it raises money for such a great cause. Adrenal Cancer Research with Dr. Gary Hammer at the University of Michigan. You can read all about that and donate here. But back to my point. After all of the drama went down and a post was made by Lani on behalf of the remaining members of the group I was angry. Like ANGRY! I took it all personally I think and I completely wrote her off as a total bitch who won't take responsibility for her actions. (Just being honest) I really felt like she was personally responsible for all the bad things going on with the band and their eventual dismemberment. 


Fast-forward to dinner break at Legacy. I overheard bits of a conversation between Lani, her boyfriend Will and Lisa. The one comment that sticks out (made by Will) was "everyone needs a villain" That stopped me dead in my tracks. That is exactly what I was looking for. Someone to blame. I made her the villain because a band I love couldn't get their stuff together and agree upon things.


During one of the set changes Jodi & myself were hanging out and I saw that Lani was standing alone. I just had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to go talk to her. I needed to see for myself that she wasn't the villain I made her in my mind. We actually have a lot in common. Down to the figure skating! haha I'm really glad I had the opportunity to talk to her. It really changed things in my mind.


Now, I'm not retracting what I previously said in the other posts. I meant it then, and some of it I still stand behind. The professional end of it. I still believe it could have been handled better by all, but I cannot blame her for the events that happened. A.) I wasn't there and don't know the full story. And B.) I wasn't there and don't know the full story. 


So I would just like to say to Lani (whether she ever sees this or not) that I'm sorry. I blamed you for things because I needed a villain. That was unfair of me and uncalled for. So again, I'm sorry. I'm not going to make more excuses. Just know that I own my mistake and I'm sorry.